"F" Not Just a Letter in the Alphabet

I have said this before, though you may never have heard it from me. In our so-called advanced society, the "f" word is highly overused.

I blame it on "the Smurf" effect. If you ever saw the Smurfs cartoon, as I did thousands of times with all my kids, you know what I mean. In the cartoon, the word "smurf" was used to express goodness of every kind. "This flower smells so smurfy!" or "We're going on a smurfnick." Sometimes it was a noun and other times a verb. It was also an adjective or adverb. Everything morphed into smurfing smurfiness to Smurfs.

Now Hollywood on the other hand...

By Hollywood's standards (set by Mel Gibson in the 1970's, from my recollection, possibly with later influence from the Smurfs), the average character may use the "f" word as many as twenty three times in one paragraph. Thanks to them, young people now make entire sentences using only the "f" word. Oh, sure. They add an ending, like "ed" or "ing" or "s" where appropriate, and throw in some conjunctions and prepositions here or there, but basically, it's all in how one uses one's voice inflection that makes the communication understandable.

Back in the olden days when I was growing up, the "f" word didn't exist in polite company. As a matter of fact, I never heard it until I was in junior high school, when I heard it from my mother, of all people. In a rare, foolish moment of disrespect, I had shot her "The Bird". I didn't know what a "bird" meant until she angrily told me, using the new-to-me and all appropriate "f" word. Of course, I don't think she realized that I had never even heard that word before and didn't know what it meant, either. Much to her dismay, she then had to define that word for me, as well.
It was shocking to a girl like me (what was "bad sex", anyway? I didn't ask...it must be horrifying!) who spent every afternoon in front of the TV watching reruns of "The Flying Nun". Not shocking simply because it was coming from my mother, who did enjoy a throwing out a spirited "dammit!" for special occasions; but shocking that such an ugly word existed at all! I still don't like that word.

Especially, I confess to you with some reluctance, when it bursts forth from my own "girl raised in the South" lips. Shamefully I admit that there was a time in my youth when I used that word a lot. A lot! I had so much anger, and that's all I had to express it, (because killing someone wasn't an option...) Eventually I realized how offensive that word was to many people. And I found myself actually not wanting to offend others for a change. So I abandoned the "F" word entirely (except for necessary use on the infamous "special occasion" in place of Mamma's "dammit!").

Alas, now the dreaded "F" word has so saturated our society that it is sneaking back into my own language. It's as contagious as influenza. Sadly, you can only hear it so many times and not find it slipping out of your own mouth. At least if you have as little self-control as I do.

That's why I am sick of hearing it in movies and on television, in the mall and coming from the man behind the curtain. I mean, why is it funny when Larry David says the "f" word? He's a grown man, and he can say it if he wants to. (Okay, sometimes it's funny!) But really. It's getting so cliche' that if that's all you've got to make someone laugh at you, then are you really funny at all?
What my mother used to say (when she wasn't explaining what "a bird" was) was that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all...but that isn't the one I wanted to use in this instance. Hmmm...Oh, yeah. She said that if you can't express yourself well without using curse words, then you have a limited vocabulary and must not be very intelligent.

She was a wise woman, my mother. A wise and smurfy woman.
Until next time,
Deber
After reading this to my sister Jeanie (who recounted a similar "bird" experience with Mamma, where Mamma fell against the wall in shock) she asked, "What's everybody going to say when the "f" word is no worse than saying "dammit"? Will we even have an option?" Maybe we'll return to "dammit!", spoken forcefully.