Today Empty Nest, Tomorrow the World!

Daughter JoAnna (Joie) is at last on her way to New York City, and naturally I have mixed emotions. On one hand, I do so enjoy her company. She's adorable and funny and sweet. I also love her cooking, and the fact that she helps clean house, walks the dogs (including the one we inherited from her), and picks up a loaf of bread when necessary. And sometimes we hang out and watch movies together in the middle of the day, which is especially nice. Quite a luxury, in fact, wallowing on the sofa with the dogs, beneath a blanket while sharing a bowl of popcorn.

But it always happens this way. Just as I was growing accustomed to being alone all day (after freshman Sydney had been home for the whole summer last year), Joie came home during that limbo time between acquiring her masters and finding a job. Now that I am used to having her around, she's moving out again.

If I look at my front door today, instead of seeing Joie's two feet through the crack under the door as she fumbles for the key, I see that familiar and unwelcome shadow. The empty nest.

The on-again-off-again relationship of parents and children at this juncture in life can be rather perplexing. First you're young, independent and fancy free. Then kids come along. You fall in love with them, they grow up, go off and you miss them. Then they come back, then they're gone again, and eventually you enjoy independence again (although this time you aren't exactly young anymore). As I always say, that's life. If Bill and I have done our job well, Joie will adjust quickly in New York. She will see it as an adventure, and she will enjoy her stay, however long it is. I hope she does. I pray that she does.

I know she will.

So I'm here talking to you, a total stranger, as I consider what to expect now that Joie is on her way again. Well, first, no more getting caught at the computer early in the morning, ("are you playing that game again?"). And no more having to wait to do my own laundry, no delicious high calorie meals that made me put on nine pounds since she's been home, no more "where are you going, Mom?" And could I forget, no more "What's-this-mess-on-the-kitchen-table-why-don't-you-do-art-in-your-studio-downstairs?"-stuff. (For those of you who haven't gotten there yet, children often attempt to switch roles once they've been away for a while.)

And when Bill gets home tonight, we're stuck with just each other. We'll eat dinner alone together, share a glass of wine, watch tv, and finally go to bed and talk back and forth peacefully while Bill reads and I do a crossword puzzle. Alone. Together. Old married people still crazy (about each other) after all these years.

Hmmm...well, that sounds pretty doggone nice. I can get used to that once more. Meanwhile, I'm not going to be sad and miserable. This is the way it should be. Thank God for our kids, and their kids. Thank God for today. Thank God for Bill, too.

Excuse me, please. I must go to the front door and inform Mr. Empty Nest that he's going to have to find another place to stay from now on. Bill and I want to be alone.

And tomorrow, my dear stranger...I am going to make art. On the kitchen table. And I'm not going to clean it up until I want to.